any way u look at it ...

not sure if this is gonna make sense but i'm thinking this through as i whack it out.

okay. sometimes the most important thing 'bout growing up is learning when not to try to fight it. u can argue about what looks cool and what doesn't. what tastes good and what doesn't. what's right and what's wrong. but one of the hardest things about growing up is recognizing when it's time to step away.

as a kid, u get harassed about all kinds of things. weird shirts your mom made you wear to school. strange things your family did that freak out the other kids. things like that. and kids can spend hours, weeks, heck, even years remembering that kind of stuff.

but u hit ur teens, and ur supposed to be almost grown up. and ur supposed to put all that crap aside and figure out who you are and what you wanna be. and half the fun is laughing or shuddering over various *cough* miscalculations ya made along the way, yanno? and that's cool.

what's not cool is when people make these snap judgements that don't even have anything to do with you -- they have everything to do with how screwed up some people can be ... and you're stuck with that totally not you stupidity, on a daily basis, for as long as you can stand being there.

so what do you do? you can try to fight it. you can try to fight them. but after awhile, you just kind of sit back and figure it isn't worth the time or the effort to try to fight something like that. and so you decide to just walk away.

that's the end of it?

not by a long shot. because people are fundamentally human and they can't simply accept things like that. u walk away and suddenly it's even worse than before, and its worse BECAUSE you chose to walk away. so now they follow you and harass you. they go out of their way to harass you and they involve other people to harass you.

yanno, adults keep saying "well that's SO high school" but they should stop and think about it. this is depressing. not so much because it's happening, but because you look at the adults in your world and you realize ... damn. it doesn't go away, does it. no wonder they had to make laws about harassment.

KLINGON ALERT lmao

bleah

ever notice that when someone gets so hormonally deranged that it feels like ur being stalked ... (okay yeah i already know this is gonna sound really mean and awful) but seriously ... suddenly ya just can't help it ... ya look at that person and they look like a klingon.

doesn't always happen. just ... i dunno. just when u feel stalked, yanno?

its the weirdest damned thing.

let me cling to my delusions for just a few more moments???

if you knew something or thought something, would you tell?

well, it's an honest question. personally, i think that it depends on the person and the situation, really.

... sometimes its important to say something, like when someone is doing something that's self-destructive ... sure, maybe doesn't affect others, but it could limit or even seriously hurt themselves. then yeah, i'd say something.

but sometimes, that person just doesn't really want to know what you think. and how do you know whether you really SHOULD say something? is it worth the hostility when what you think doesn't coincide with what the other person wants to hear?

we were talking about a person the other day, and someone asked me if i knew something back then, why didn't i say something before. i was like ... because you wouldn't have listened. lol

so we promise to be honest and say what we think, because isn't that what friendship is all about???? but then we get mad when the person says something we don't want to hear. then why demand that the person be honest and tell you exactly what they think?

come ON people! we ALL have times like that. Sometimes we don't want the benefit of what other people already know or think, because maybe it would be nice to keep the rose-tinted shades on for just a few more moments in time ... people just have times when they don't want to hear stuff. that's cool.

just because we don't agree, doesn't make you any less a friend. just because we don't see things the same way, doesn't make me respect you or care about you any less. so what if we don't agree? if that's the case, don't get mad at me, get over it.

even as friends -- no, especially as friends!! -- we don't have to agree on what's important. if you want that, get urself a cardboard cut out. been there, done that, the t-shirt didn't fit.

there should be rules

i hate rules.

but SOMETIMES i wish there were like ... written down rules about behaviour, yanno? okay, like ... not LAWS or things like that ... just rules that we could live by. things you could depend on between friends.